Adore
by Apparently Awesome
Summary: Time after time she'd been hurt by someone she thought cared, and maybe they did, but it didn't matter when she was left picking up the pieces of her heart afterward.


Finally! Last post, and then I can lay in bed and try to go to sleep. My first post was for Aria and Ezra, Behind Enemy Lines. Second was Falling In for Spencer and Toby. The third one was Basket Case for Lucas and Hanna, and this one, based of a song from Hayley Williams' (of Paramore) old bands song, Adore. Or at least that's what I've heard. Either way, it's based of the song Adore and it's not a songfic, but the italicized lines before and after the story are a lyrics or two from the song.

Anything italicized in quotes is from the past, non italicized quotes are present. I think there's also a text message in here, that's in bold... or it should be, when I post bold things it get's tricky sometimes. There was also a text in Behind Enemy Lines now that I think about it. That's in bold too by the way. I think the dog has something stuck up his nose. He's sniffing and snorting mighty hard out there (and by out there I mean in the hall). He's always sniffing up something. I've never seen or heard a dog sniff in so hard before. Or for that long. He's so nosy.

* * *

><p><em>I don't mean to run, but every time you come around I feel more alive than ever…<em>

"You're avoiding me…"

Emily felt her breath catch in her throat.

"I'm… not?"

She heard Maya's chuckle and turned to face the girl.

"You're a horrible liar, Emily Fields. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Emily looked off then stared back at Maya. She found herself doing that often. So engrossed in her thoughts about the gorgeous girl while staring, she didn't notice Maya move closer and draw her in a hug, wrapping her arms around Emily's neck.

Emily blushed. She did a lot of that when Maya was around and Maya seemed to know this. The girl made it worse actually, flirting and/or teasing relentlessly but seeming to give Emily just the right amount of space to make the ultimate decision. And that's what Emily was afraid of; the reason she avoided her. This had been going on for a while and she knew no matter how much they were both enjoying whatever was going on, Maya would want some sort of commitment soon. Commitment hadn't been so great to Emily in the past.

Maya let her hands slide to Emily's shoulders and down her arms to her hands. Emily slowly felt her hands slide against and away from Maya's fingers.

"So… you gonna tell me why you've been avoiding me?"

Maya made eye contact with Emily and though Emily wanted so desperately to break and run, she couldn't. She'd been through a few break and runs herself. Time after time she'd been hurt by someone she thought cared, and maybe they did, but it didn't matter when she was left picking up the pieces of her heart afterward.

They always started in a similar fashion, the other girls making the first move. Emily was to shy to start anything, but none of them were quite shy. She had a type, she'd admit that. Alison called her type "ballsy badass" and Emily had realized, after Alison, they all were. And they all ended the same way.

"Because I'm scared."

Emily told Maya, keeping her eyes locked with the other set of brown that seemed to look through her than at her.

"I've been hurt before. Quite a few times actually. My last relationship being the worst."

Emily remembered them all too well. Begin with: Ashlee…

"_Let's just keep this between you and me. Nobody has to know."_

…then Kellie…

"_You can be my dirty little secret, baby. And I'll be yours. Nothing wrong with that."_

…then Samantha.

"_You don't mind keeping this on the down low do you? It's not you, Em. I just want this to be quiet for a bit."_

She didn't even know if Alison could count as a relationship, Emily did, but that's the one that wrecked her the most.

"_Don't tell anyone. Got it? It's just a kiss."_

Maya's eyes showed concern and just the slightest hint of curiosity. She didn't say anything though, letting Emily take her time.

"Every relationship with a girl I really liked ended with me getting hurt in the end."

Emily folded her arms across her chest, feeling very vulnerable and insecure. But she'd rather be vulnerable and insecure now than somewhere down the line should Maya turn out like the rest.

"Ashlee…"

"_Emily, I can't… I just can't. I'm sorry. You may be willing to tell everyone and risk everything, but I'm not. Not now… not for you."_

"Kellie…"

"_Either we're secret, or we're nothing. I refuse to be publicly known as some lesbo. You're hot, and yeah, I'd totally do you somewhere down the line, but I'm not going to tell anyone I'm dating you. What will everyone think?"_

"Samantha… by text…"

**Sam: I can't do this anymore. We're breaking up.**

"and… Alison."

She thought Ali would've been different. She thought of all people, her best friend would be a little more delicate, especially after Emily told her about her past relationships. Emily had been bruised, broken, and dumped by text message, but Ali's rejection hurt her the most.

"_A kiss is a kiss. I like boys. Trust me. If I'm kissing you, it's because it's practice for the real thing."_

Ali had strung her along, toyed with her emotions and it hurt so much because she really did love Alison. No matter how bad the teasing got, or how much it hurt, Ali's sweet side just made Emily fall harder. But Ali tore her heart in two with those words.

"I keep getting hurt, and I don't want to be hurt again."

She heard Maya take a breath, but carried on.

"I've been every girls secret. I've been used, strung along, and broken and I just- I can't go through that again. I can't be someone's secret again. I really like you, Maya, a lot…"

And she truly did. She was still a bit of a wreck when Maya came into the picture. Maya was just as flirty as the others had been, maybe even more, and Emily liked that, but it scared her to death. Yet, she found herself falling for those gorgeous eyes and that playful smirk. Everything Maya said or did made her fall all over again.

"…but I refuse to be a secret and if that's what you want…"

Emily stared down at her feet, re-crossing her arms the other way. She hoped that wasn't what Maya wanted.

"…then we can't be together."

Emily kept her head down, but her eyes shifted upward towards Maya. Maya had that devious little twinkle in her eyes as she smiled at Emily.

"That's… unfortunate. Your exes I mean."

Maya leaned forward a bit, bending over slightly to catch Emily's eyes before whispering to her.

"But who ever said I wanted you to be my secret?"

Emily's eyes widened slightly and she raised her head, standing straighter, arms still crossed in front of her. Maya grabbed hold of Emily's arms, uncrossing them, and placing herself between them, wrapping her arms around Emily's neck. She smirked, knowing she shocked the shy girl.

"I like you too, Em. A lot. But I do have to tell you that I plan to string you along for a very, very long time. In a good way of course."

Emily blushed at Maya's teasing tone, but found herself nodding slowly in agreement.

"Of course."

Maya smirked at her and Emily blushed deeper, giving a small smile. Maya licked her lips and pulled Emily down a bit closer.

"Is that okay with you?"

Emily nodded quicker this time, and wrapped her arms firmly around Maya's waist. She leaned down further to close the distance between them but Maya stopped her.

"Wait."

"Why?"

Maya chuckled at Emily's confused, slightly hurt tone. The bell rang for the next class period and Maya sighed happily as classroom doors started to open.

"Because I want everyone to know you're mine."

She kissed Emily soundly.

_Would you go all the way? Be the one I'm looking for…_


End file.
